Because we were bored. And there was no other way to alleviate the boredom than to to troll for the LULZ. Hit the jump to view the show. Keep in touch for Part II!
Like many of you guys, I rely on public transportation to get to school, work, or anywhere, because I’m too poor to have my own car. Most of us take the PUJs (aka the Undisputed King of the Roads), because it’s the most reliable and affordable form of public transportation. And perfect for you if you’re trying to save money for a Morrissey concert.
But we all know the blemishes of riding a PUJ: the expected inhalation of the polluted city air, the challenges of being quick enough to catch the one last seat before others could steal it, the clogged roads, the scorching heat emanating from people squeezing in and the different people you happen to meet inside. I’m talking about people like…
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“Hindi ko kayang mawala ka sa’kin, Belatreya. Ikaw lang buhay ko.”
“Pero mayaman kayo, Otenciano. Isang hamak na iskwater lang ako.”
This is an example of a Pinoy TV ‘kilig‘ moment. Sounds familiar, I know. But I made that up. LOL. The female family members of mine would sometimes giggle like crazy in the living room with their sparkling eyes fixed on the adorable love team (Love teams have funny names too. Marian + Dingdong = Dongian. Kim + Gerald = Kimerald. Manny Pacquiao + Jinkee = Mankee) holding hands and exchanging ghastly dialogues. I, on the other hand, would silently predict what’s gonna happen.
I am but tired of this bullshit; it assaults my visual and auditory organs– the lame acting, predictable events, awful dialogues, shameless product placements… But as much as I wanted to escape from the horror of it, I couldn’t; I was trapped inside the vortex. This terrifying Pinoy pop culture is inescapable. Oh, the horror! Someday these dramas will be called ‘classics’ by our grandchildren. Who knows what will happen in the future?
Seriously enough, though, the only interesting one I had ever seen was Amaya. I’m not saying I was a huge fan. I’m saying it was better than the other fucked-up shows. But come to think of it, were there mestizos already during the time of Lapu-lapu, or did the show just fuck our minds? Praise be to Bathala I still have my Philippine history books. After Amaya, there was none. So we’re back to the old stinky programs and its annoying and common logic flaws and stereotypes. Here are some of the crazy things that happen in common Soaps:
Don’t get me wrong. I’m a girl and I’m proud to be one, but there are just some things girls do that I can’t tolerate, like Feeling Gwapa girls who give snide remarks about your oily nose and acne marks as if their faces aren’t horrible enough to scare the bugs away, or girls who act like royals whenever they’re inside a public market. He-he. The list goes on, I know, but here’s my Top 10: