There have been a lot of fashion trends- some are cute, some acceptable, some are very sophisticated, while some are just awful. I might be in trouble for sounding like a hypocrite if I don’t admit that I have also been guilty of following a couple of horrible trends when I was younger. We all have. And we just can’t help but laugh at the memories. Ah, good times. There was a time when wearing elephant jeans and platform shoes were cool, when teenage girls wearing macarena shirts were looked up with pure admiration, when Nick Carter’s hairstyle was considered the ‘Hair of the Decade’. Haha. Anyway, before I forget that this is post is for the LULZ and not a tearjearking shitflow of 90’s nostalgia, here’s our list of today’s fashion trends that we find awful. Let’s start with…
1. Popped collars
If you really want to cosplay Count Dracula, then please undo the ghastly KPOP hair.
2. Over-sized shirts
3. Pointed shoes
Do you know that aside from giving your feet protection and a stylish zing, these shoes can also be used for violent purposes? You can stab someone you hate with it, or use it as weapon for ‘tulis’.
In the Philippines? On a scorching hot afternoon? Wow. That’s so hot. Pun intended.
5. Very baggy pants
Because the belt was invented a hundreds of thousands of years ago. You know, something that you fasten around your waist to prevent your pants from falling off. What? Hip-hop? But Salbakuta is so 10 years ago!
Speaking of baggy pants, let’s include…
6. Boxer shorts popping out at the back of jeans
When you were in high school, have you ever heard of rumors about PUNK and its password? Hint: People Under New Kingdom Of Satan daw. If you did, then you might also have heard about the rumor that people who wore jeans with boxer shorts popping out at the back of it were punk people. Sorry, but it’s not punk, people. It’s gross. Especially when traces of igit are shown.
7. Dental braces
You might find this irrelevant. “Why the heck did this bitch Dreavus put braces on the list? Isn’t she some kind of bogo?” Now, now. For some people (especially those who don’t really have dental deficiencies), it is considered as an unseen fashion trend. Is it attractive? Of course not. Aside from giving you discomfort and pain, it also gives you embarrassment. Who would want to grin proudly in front of people, showing them lines of fucked-up teeth? The answer is lots. Lots of them. Because here in our country, dental braces give you that unmistakable sheen of prosperity. LOTS of people find it appealing because of the fact that it is expensive, and not everyone can afford it, like gadgets. It’s ridiculous, isn’t it? Must we be proud of everything we have that are expensive? Narp. Because boasting about your dental deficiencies is exactly no different from bragging about being an inutil with a remote-controlled wheelchair.
8. Necklaces with very large beads
If you’re fat, you’d look like Kukai. If you’re slender, you’d look like Dhalsim. Yooooooga fire!
9. Tattered jeans
Style so rock-and-roll that nobody would be surprised if people started dropping coins in front of you. Add some plaid garments and you’d certainly look like a scarecrow.
10. Mini-shorts with pockets sticking out
I don’t get it.
11. New Era Caps with its stickers on
What, to prove that they’re not fake? Who would want to leave it on and let the world know they got large, 7 1/2-size heads?
True, it makes you look like an RNB artist, very fashionable, yes, but it’ll also make you look like a drunk person. Imagine the possibilities of wobbling into someone else’s path because wearing a hat that covered your other eye prevented you to see the right way. This goes the same with Sagpa Hair.
Probably the strangest contribution to footwear. Crocs, as we all know it, are ridiculous-looking sandals that are said to give comfort because of its lightness, softness and other shit. And did I also say it also gives terrible humiliation to whoever wears it? For God’s sake, it looks just like a whale’s tongue! Either that, or a horse’s mouth. Fashionable? Why, can you match it with a dress? Can you match it with a shirt and cargo shorts? Sure you won’t look like a flaming idiot? I don’t know about you, but I’m never slipping my feet inside that cave-like footwear only to get mocked at by being resembled to Jollibee. Screw you, comfort. I’d rather walk barefoot.
I have nothing against these colorful caps, but the way people put it in their heads is just plain ridiculous. It looks like it had just fallen on top of their heads, like bird shit. Is that the purpose of wearing a cap? Any single movement would cause it to fall off! Is that exactly how people should wear it?
15. Corny Novelty Shirts
These shirts send a message, alright. Blah-blah-blah. Love Me Or Hate Me, 100% Gwapo, blah-blah-blah. Proud Virgin, Anong Tinitingin-Tingin Mo?, blah-blah-blah. Tell me, what kind of impression are you making? Why would you wear a shirt that says 100 % Gwapo when you actually aren’t? Aren’t you even ashamed of yourself?
16. DSLR as Bling-bling
I consider this self-explanatory.
17. Monster Shirts
I am so sorry.
These shirts used to be so cool- with its cute, gore-y designs and colorful outlines and all, but that was before everyone (take note: everyone!) started wearing them. It’s nice to see some every once in a while, but when you see a pack of teenagers wearing them every single day, inside malls, during wash days, or on gigs– your eyes will begin to hurt. It’s everywhere! Colorful intestines! Adorable zombies! Cute, popping eyes! Go the fuck away!
18. Arm warmers with tattoo designs
Wearing it will only make you look like a total coward for not having the guts to get a full-arm tattoo.
19. Slouchy pants
It makes any woman look like she’s wearing adult diapers.
20. Varsity Jackets
The cold season is already over so I guess there’s no more excuse for you guys to wear those shitty varsity jackets. Right?